Reflection on The Prayer (5)

(Entire Prayer to be found at https://www.divinetruth.com/www/en/html/index.htm#prayer.htm)

“…and the object of Thy soul’s great love and tenderest care.” 

It feels like a dizzying ride. One moment I’m one of billions of created souls, not to mention the rest of the universe, and the next moment it’s just me and God. And it’s not that I’m under scrutiny; it’s that I’m being loved (with Great Love), or at least being found lovable.

There is a difference. If I don’t feel that I am lovable, I close myself off to being loved. It’s the same thing as, while I firmly believe that I will never be able to swim the length of the swimming pool, I will never do it. The problem is with me, not with God (or the swimming pool).

How do I open myself to real love? How do I let down my protective shell and expose myself to what I suspect will be a very vulnerable condition? I’ve done this in the past and it’s been painful. Why would I want to try again?

I jumped in the deep end of the swimming pool when I was a kid and it was cold and wet and water went up my nose and I felt like I was drowning… but other people seemed to be having fun, floating and swimming about. They looked happy.

I think, similarly, the deeply happy, and inspiring, among us are also vulnerable, have learned to swim through what we call love but isn’t really rather than drown in it, and learned to give and receive something real.

The words “… and tenderest care.”  in the phrase, “Thy soul’s great love and tenderest care,”  is perhaps a starting point. It’s ok to be a bit vulnerable when it comes with such tender care.

For to His angels, He’s given a command

To guard you in all of your ways

Upon their hands they will bear you up

Lest you dash your foot against a stone

And He will raise you up on eagle’s wings

Bear you on the breath of dawn

Make you to shine like the sun

And hold you in the palm of His hand.

(From the hymn “On Eagles’ Wings” by Michael Joncas)

Reflection on The Prayer (4)

(Entire Prayer to be found at https://www.divinetruth.com/www/en/html/index.htm#prayer.htm)

“I am (we are) the greatest of Thy creation, the most wonderful of Thy handiworks…”

Sounds arrogant? It can’t be denied though, that the complexity of human thought, emotion, and ability to reason is far greater than that of any other living thing. Arrogance is only an issue when we start comparing ourselves to other humans, and the phrase ‘we are the greatest…’ leaves no room for that.

Why is this phrase in the Prayer at all?  To me, it suggests that if we start to contemplate the wonder and complexity of our own selves, it flows from there that God, who created us, is more complex than all of us put together.

Following on from “…not the sinful, subservient creature…” in the previous phrase, it also emphasises the way that we are seen by God - as wonderful. Who could wish for a more doting parent, and who could be afraid?

I grew up with a fear of God’s wrath that does not dissipate so easily though. Just telling myself that I am the greatest of God’s creation is no more than a mantra, with no long-term effect. I need to let it sink in, to a place where I can feel the possibility of this truth in me. Again, I find that music helps. This song, in Joe Cocker’s famous voice, tells me movingly of God’s feelings for me.

You are so beautiful

To me

You are so beautiful

To me

Can't you see

You're everything I hoped for

You're everything I need

You are so beautiful

To me

You are so beautiful

To me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6xfpLqn5IM

Reflection on The Prayer (3)
(Entire Prayer to be found at https://www.divinetruth.com/www/en/html/index.htm#prayer.htm)

“…and not the sinful, depraved and subservient creature that false teachers would have me believe.”

It sounds harsh doesn’t it? Do I feel like I have been treated this way?  Who are those false teachers?

I would like to disregard this part of the prayer and say it is not relevant to my particular situation. I would like to stay with the soft fuzzy, “I am Thy child” phrase.

However, I know that I’m missing something important if I do that.  The very fact I want to skip over it suggests that there is something in there for me.  I don’t like the feeling that I have been treated harshly, as if I am sinful and so on.  And this tells me that I recognise this feeling.  I recognise feeling that I am sinful and subservient; in particular, try as I may to behave otherwise, I treat myself this way.

Where did this come from?  I have heard that ‘false teachers’ refers to the people who most influenced me in my early life, starting with my parents. When my children were young I certainly treated them, and all children, as subservient to me. When I was young, we were brought up with this idea of Original Sin, an awful religious teaching that damns a person before they even have a chance to discover who they are. This idea, as I saw it through my mother’s eyes, has me striving and praying endlessly, while knowing that I will never succeed in being free of sin. Running a race I can never win. 

The Prayer tells me that this is not true. I was created perfect. Inside the very imperfect person I am, there is someone who is perfect. In that case, I want to ‘unwrap’ the layers of what went wrong, what I have done wrong, to unravel the knots and find me. 

Very often I feel that moving a mountain would be easier. It would, actually. Then I remember that this is not a task I am expected to do alone. This is something that God will do everything to help me with, but not by clearing away all the wrong as if by magic, or worse, by the mythical spilling of blood by another in order to wash away my sin.

Just as with the approach of Restorative Justice (https://www.rpiassn.org/practice-areas/what-is-restorative-justice/) if I own, at a deep level, the damage I have done, then I will be motivated to change, from the heart. I am told, and I firmly believe, that God waits for this heartfelt desire in me to ‘sin no more,’ and knowing this fills me with hope and gratitude.

I see trees of green, red roses too

I see them bloom, for me and you

And I think to myself

What a wonderful world

I see skies of blue and clouds of white

The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night

And I think to myself

What a wonderful world.